with Xenia Ruiz

Born and raised in Chicago in the neighborhoods of Humboldt Park, West Town, and Austin, Xenia Ruíz was educated in the public school system, attended Loop (now Harold Washington) and Wilbur Wright City Colleges, and graduated from Northwestern University with a bachelor’s in sociology and a minor in writing. In 1991, she started writing “her great American novel,” In the Picture I Have of You, the story of a woman coming to grips with her father’s abandonment and death after the suicide of her brother. Although she had an agent, the novel was rejected by four publishers; one major publisher offered to publish it—if she changed the format to their specifications. She refused and put it on hold.

Sometime in October 2002, Ruíz came across one of her novels-in-progress which she started writing several years before. From this 10,000-word rough draft, a more spiritual, 120,000-word in-depth novel evolved, which ultimately became Choose Me, the story of a woman and a man who explore the possibility of a relationship without sex. Although she was originally discouraged by the rejections of her first novel, she truly believes God intervened so that she could complete Choose Me. It took her nine months to complete Choose Me while it took her years to finish In the Picture I Have of You. In October 2003, she submitted Choose Me to Warner Books/Walk Worthy Press; one month later, she was offered a two-book deal.

Her second novel (which is ironically her first) will be published by Warner/Walk Worthy Press in 2006. Ruíz lives with her family in Chicago where she is simultaneously working on her third and fourth novels. Visit her website at www.xeniaruiz.net.

Urban-Reviews.com: Can you tell us about Choose Me?
Xenia Ruiz: Choose Me is the story of Eva Clemente, a Latina who is committed to God, celibacy, and waiting on “Mr. Righteous” a.k.a. “a man of God.” She meets Adam Black, an African-American man and back-sliding Christian who happens to be temporarily abstinent due to his cancer remission. As Eva and Adam begin dating, Eva struggles with her celibacy, while Adam begins to wonder how long he can remain in a relationship without sexual intimacy.

UR: Where did you come up with the idea for Choose Me?
XR: Several years ago, I had written a couple of chapters of a novel about an interracial couple who are fed up with relationships and seek something deeper. I had a working title (Salsa and Soul) but I couldn’t think of what that “deeper” thing was so I put it aside. Years later, I was struggling with abstinence after breaking up with my fiancé, debating whether it was time to start a new relationship. So I decided to put that useless energy to creative use. One night, I was browsing through my novels-in-progress and I came across the 10,000-word manuscript and in a span of nine months I had 120,000 words and a new title, Eva and Adam. My publisher eventually renamed it Choose Me, after one of the poems in the book.

UR: How did you get into the business?
XR: I wrote my first novel in 1991 and worked on it for almost six years in between work, school and raising my family. In 1997, I secured an agent, who submitted it to several major publishers who all rejected it. Finally, one publisher wanted to publish it—if I changed the format to their specifications; I refused. My agent and I drifted apart and I started working on the “second” novel (Choose Me). When I submitted it to Walk Worthy Press in 2003, it turned out my ex-agent was the publisher. I could only attribute it to God.

UR:  Did you choose the Christian Fiction genre, or did the genre choose you?
XR: I would definitely have to say that it chose me. I didn’t even know there was such a genre until 2003. When I originally wrote Choose Me, I was trying to write a different kind of relationship story than the formulaic ones that are so popular. Then I read a couple of Christian fiction novels and I liked the idea of attributing the changes in human nature to God’s influence as opposed to a sudden epiphany. It was challenging in that I had never attempted to write Christian fiction. The second book wasn’t originally Christian fiction, but when I was offered the two-book deal by Walk Worthy, I had to revise it into the Christian genre. Since it already contained an element of spirituality, the changes weren’t that major. I didn’t start out writing Christian fiction, so I believe I was inspired by Him to write. The fact that a lot of people have a problem with this rationale inspires me to keep writing even more.

UR: How did your own background as an Afro-Latino influence the main character, Eva?
XR: I was born and raised in Chicago in predominantly African-American and Latino neighborhoods. These neighborhoods didn’t start off that way. They were predominately White neighborhoods and we’d sometimes be the first “dark” family on the block; within six months, there’d be this sudden White flight, and people of color would eventually “take over.” Soon the Latinos would disappear and we’d be the only ones left. Growing up, African-American boys—and later men—were more attracted to me than Latinos. I devoured Afrocentric literature and watched with anticipation for the token Black character on TV shows. Consequently, I married an African-American man and my children are bi-racial/bi-cultural. When one thinks of Puerto Ricans, the images of Jennifer Lopez, Mark Anthony, Ricky Martin and Rita Moreno come to mind. None of these Puerto Ricans are Afro-Latinos and even though we as a people are supposed to be more united by ethnicity than race, we all
know the color factor figures into every culture. Although I read a variety of books when I was growing up, the stories I wanted most to read and the characters that looked like me were missing from contemporary fiction. So it was important for me to make Eva an Afro-Puerto Rican like me. Everyone assumes that Puerto Ricans marry Puerto Ricans (or other Latinos). I wanted to show that there were some of us who marry into other cultures, and not necessarily just Caucasian, but it was also important not to make it a major part of the story. So although there are underlying references about the differences in their respective cultures, it doesn’t affect their relationship; in other words, it’s not “about race.”

UR:  Choose Me features some beautiful poetry and poetic elements incorporated into the story. Was this difficult to do?
XR: Not really because writing poetry is my second love. I attend a lot of poetry readings and have read some of my poetry in public. I wrote two of the poems in the book, one a long time ago, the other I wrote specifically for the book. The one attributed to the title, “Choose Me!” was written by my sister, who is more of a spiritual poet than I am.

UR:  How common is it for a man or woman to take a vow of celibacy after they have had sexual contact? What sort of mental and emotional preparation is needed?
XR: I really don’t know how common it would be for a couple to be celibate after sexual contact. But I think it would be very difficult, because once you’ve gone “all the way,” you know what it’s like and you want to feel that way again. God will test you over and over, and the devil will tempt you over and over. Which is why in the book, Adam and Eva are separating by circumstances beyond their control (God, if you will): Adam by his cancer resurfacing, Eva by the tragedy of her children. Because they don’t see each other for about six months, there is no sexual contact. And then, when they do meet again, Eva is so wary about breaking her promise to God and Adam is still weak after recovering from chemo that they don’t “go there.” Plus, both of them have rededicated their lives to God so their personal feelings, their attraction takes a back seat. More than mental and emotional, one must prepare spiritually. Without that, it is impossible. So it’s important to seek God first, know who you are first, respect yourself first before you go giving yourself to a man (or men). To quote from my book (Eva’s mother) and my mother: “Men will only let you go as far as you let them.” They will only do to you what you allow them to do. So if they dog you (cheat on you), it’s because you allowed it.

UR:  Is there a message in your novel that you want readers to grasp?
XR: The message is that women can have power over their sexual and personal lives. They can dictate the direction of their lives. And that men, with all their posturing, in the end, want the same things.

UR:  Who are some of your favorite authors or books?
XR: As far as authors, I don’t know if I have ‘favorites’ as much as I have favorite books. So many books have inspired me, I can’t pick just one. They include: Yo! by Julia Alvarez, Sister by A. Manette Ansay, Durable Goods by Elizabeth Berg, Come to Me by Amy Bloom, A House on Mango Street by Sandra Cisneros, Raising Fences: A Black Man’s Love Story by Michael Datcher, The Red Moon by Kuwana Haulsey, Walking the Line by Althea Christina Hughes, The Color of Water by James McBride, Meeting of the Waters by Kim McLarin, Black & Blue by Ann Quinlan, Caucasia by Danzy Senna, and The Color Purple by Alice Walker. The sensory details, imagery and language in all of these authors’ works inspire me to write better. I like to read a lot of autobiographical stuff, but what I like most of all is when fiction sounds autobiographical. That’s when I know a story is good, when it has that element of truth.

UR:  Do you have any upcoming projects that you would like to tell us about?
XR: My second novel, In the Picture I Have of You, is what I call “my great American Latina novel,” the first novel I wrote. It’s the story of a woman coming to grips with her father’s abandonment and death after the suicide of her brother. While the story grew from a visit to my own father’s grave, and I took tiny details of my life, it is far from being autobiographical.

UR:  What advice would you give to anyone wanting to get into the business?
XR: I would extend the advice which Gwendolyn Brooks once gave me.  I met her at a reading and asked for her address which she gave me without hesitation. I sent her some of my work and she critiqued it. I was touched that someone like her would take the time to write me back. Her advice was simple: “Never, never surrender!” And I’ll expand on that by saying, if you truly believe you are a writer and you really want to write and get published, keep working at it, dedicate all your free time to writing that book (or books), never let anyone deter you, and never sit idle. Try to write every day and if you can’t, at least a couple of times a week. Always write down ideas, scenes, etc. as soon as you get them, otherwise, you might forget them. Don’t get too discouraged by rejections; sometimes it’s God’s way of telling you something better is coming. Try to learn as much as possible about the publishing industry because the reality and the fantasy are two VERY different things. My dream is to see the crop of Latino writers grow to the magnitude that the African American market has flourished in the last decade.

UR: Is there anything else you want to add?
XR: Just that Choose Me is a story that has never been told before, which is what makes it so unique.
 

Don't forget to check out our review of Choose Me in AA Fiction.